It is always when we are deprived of something that we suddenly realise how lucky we were to have it. And yes… we absolutely take many things for granted. From the material to the more subtle, such as…health.

It’s only when something starts hurting that we remember how incredible it felt when everything was working fine. Recent example : I had a tooth pain a couple of days ago, the kind of pain where you can’t chew, your whole jaw is annoyed, and you start thinking of this time where you could anything you want at any time...How lucky I was … And then the next day you’re finally able to eat normally again and soon you totally forget the whole experience.

Those are the obvious signs. Pain. Discomfort. The body yelling at you:
“Hey! Something is wrong here”

You can localise the pain, go to the doctor, get treated, take the medications, maybe a tiny surgery (hello dentist), and after a couple of days…
tadaaaa, pain-free.
And very soon you don’t even remember what happened. You move on.

But what happens when you don’t feel the pain?
When there is no sharp sensation, no inflamed area, no fever… nothing clear. Just this weird imbalance in the background:

Your sleep is disturbed.
Your immunity drops.
Your digestion is… not great.
Your diet is “healthy” by your own criteria.
You exercise regularly.
And still, you feel something feels off.

These are the subtle illnesses. The quiet ones. The ones you can’t point at. They require a deeper work-in to understand what is going on. There is no magic pill because you don’t even know exactly what you’re fixing.

So you start digging.
Trying things.
Listening to one friend. Then Google. Then your neighbour who suddenly became a nutrition expert and tells you to go sugar-free because “all her symptoms disappeared after one month.” Then your parents advising you something else…

And your mind is going at 1000 miles per hour.
Trying this, trying that.
You get overwhelmed.
You burn out mentally.
And at some point you end up crying in the kitchen and cursing the sky… because why is healing so confusing?

This was me. A couple of years ago.
Amenorrhea secondary.
Thirty months of healing.

And you know what?
Despite all the effort, all the frustration, all the moments where I thought “why me?”…
I don’t regret a single second.

Because without that long, messy, unpredictable healing journey, I would not be who I am today.
I wouldn’t have learned what my body, mind, and soul actually need.

Doctors offered medications such as going back on the pill, taking hormones to induce a bleed but my intuition said:
No. I want the real work. The deep work. The one without guarantees.

I trusted my body.
I trusted nature.
I trusted the idea that if I gave my body the right environment, it would find its way back.
And honestly… my last trip to India helped a lot and of course Ayurveda too.

When it comes to hormones, the emotional aspect is always there. You cannot avoid it. And when you try to avoid it? It comes back straight in your face.

I remember the first 3 or 4 months without a period, I felt great. TOO great.
I was moving a lot, eating when I wanted, feeling light, so much energy, sleeping very little, my mood steady, not emotional at all.
All was good :)

But of course… it doesn’t last.

The recovery journey from amenorrhea is messy. Why? Because when you start eating more, exercising less, and giving your body safety, your hormones slowly start waking up. And when they wake up, things get interesting.

When you lose your period from stress, under-eating, or over-exercising, your hypothalamus (the little boss in your brain) reduces GnRH, the hormone that tells your reproductive system what to do.
Lower GnRH = lower FSH & LH = lower estrogen & progesterone.
It’s your body saying:
“Love… we don’t have enough energy for reproduction right now.”

But when you start nourishing yourself and slowing down, the hypothalamus begins to feel safe again.

GnRH pulses return.
FSH and LH increase.
The ovaries receive the signal.
Estrogen rises again.

And estrogen… oh boy. She comes with feelings.
Because she directly influences serotonin, dopamine, and your entire emotional landscape.

That’s why during recovery your mood changes:
You become more sensitive.
You cry easily.
You worry more.
You feel everything intensely.
You might even think something is “wrong” with you.

But nothing is wrong.
This is healing.

And yes, it is messy.

Is it good?
Is it bad?
It’s neither.
It’s simply the path.

A BIG learning.
A gift disguised as chaos.
A lesson you may not understand in the moment but later it makes perfect sense.

Then comes the awareness stage, my personal favourite (and least favourite at the same time).
It’s the moment where you realise you are doing something that your body/mind no longer agrees with. And deep inside, you KNOW what needs to change.

This stage is powerful.
And painful.

It asks you to let go of old habits.
Old patterns.
Old beliefs about yourself.

And oh man… it is hard.
Letting go feels like losing a part of yourself, even when that part was hurting you.

But slowly, slowly… you surrender.
And then healing begins.

Healing takes time.
Not because something is wrong but because nature is slow.
This is why we have seasons.
Nature doesn’t rush. It doesn’t force. It doesn’t panic.
Our bodies work the same way.

Slowly, you start noticing small changes:
More moments of feeling well.
More calm.
More serenity.
More trust.

And then the magic happens…

A shift.
A sign.
A return.
A feeling of gratitude so strong you can feel it in your bones.

And that… is only the beginning.

It’s easy to fall again into the same traps, but the longer your healing journey, the stronger the lesson stays in your mind.
You know what to avoid.
You know what to prioritise.
You know how to listen to your body like never before.

So never give up.
Be patient.
Healing always happens.

After the storm… comes the sun.
Always.

And you deserve that sun, every single time.

With Love,

Audrey